


Let's Play a Game

by AnitaAlways



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: Wheeljack is a god, gambling is a bad idea, the Wreckers ain't nothing to frag with
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:40:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23803990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnitaAlways/pseuds/AnitaAlways
Summary: "Our power core has been ch-" The second he saw the short mech, he went silent, put the hammer on the ground, and sank to one knee. "Your Excellency.""Heh. Was wondering when you'd show. You recognize me?" the mech asked.Ultra Magnus nodded. "I was a mythology expert. You are Wheeljack, the god of madness.""Ding ding ding ding! He scores the point! So, pray tell, what are you doing here, in my territory?" asked Wheeljack, grin turning sinister.
Relationships: Ultra Magnus/Wheeljack
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	1. Wrong Turn

“So where are we?” Miko asked, shaking the dust off herself. The Iron Will had run out of power, leaving her, Bulkhead, and Ultra Magnus on an unknown planet. 

“I don’t know. Our signals are jammed. We need something that can give us a power boost.” 

“So we’re gonna explore?” beamed Miko. “Awesome!” 

“Bulkhead and I are. We don’t know what’s out there. You could be harmed.” 

“More than if I stay here alone?” Miko asked, raising an eyebrow, and Magnus paused. 

“Fair point. Bulkhead, put her in your chest cavity.” Bulkhead did, making sure to be gentle with his human companion, and Ultra Magnus nodded. “Now then. Let’s move out.” 

It took an hour of searching and watching for the Wrecker unit to find something. A sizable ship, armed to the teeth and badly damaged enough, sat covered in vines that looked like tentacles and were covered in eyes. Ultra Magnus almost threw up at the sight of the vessel, but set his jaw and entered it, motioning for Bulkhead and Miko to follow. 

The ship was eerily empty, but Magnus was able to find what he needed much more easily than he thought. The power core rippled and shone with energy that Magnus could hardly believe given the ship had to have crashed around 1,000 years ago. But the soldier rarely looked a gift horse in the mouth, especially when he needed to get… out… was that an emblem? 

It was a stormcloud with a lightning bolt. On one side of the lightning bolt was a Joker-like grin, and on the other was a terrifyingly furious glare. 

Bulkhead didn’t seem to notice. He and Miko were just outside the door of the cockpit playing “Rock Paper Scissors” and waiting for Ultra Magnus to finish. He did notice, however, when the leader of the Wreckers gasped and dropped the core. “S-sir? Is everything okay in there?” 

Magnus grabbed the core. “We have to go. Now.” Transforming, the drove off, and Bulkhead found himself straining to keep up. 

An hour to find the ship became ten minutes to return, and Magnus ran to where the ship’s old power core was. “Get in the ship. Now. We have to get out of here before we run into a threat.” 

Miko scratched her head as Bulkhead carried her into the Iron Will. “What do you think got into him?” 

“I don’t know, but if it scared him that badly, then we shouldn’t stay to find-” 

A short mech, red, white, and green with scars over his mouth and swords on his back, was there to greet them, sitting at a hadn’t-been-there-before table full of energon and meat. "Hey. Going somewhere?" he grinned. 

"Uh....maybe?” 

The mech motioned to the table. "C'mon, sit down. I haven't had someone try my cooking in forever." 

"I'd… rather not…” Bulkhead stammered, then called out the door, “MAGNUS, GET IN HERE!" 

Ultra Magnus came in, confused. "Our power core has been ch-" The second he saw the short mech, he went silent, put the hammer on the ground, and sank to one knee. "Your Excellency." 

"Heh. Was wondering when you'd show. You recognize me?" the mech asked. 

Ultra Magnus nodded. "I was a mythology expert. You are Wheeljack, the god of madness."

"Ding ding ding ding! He scores the point! So, pray tell, what are you doing here, in my territory?" asked Wheeljack, grin turning sinister. 

Ultra Magnus tensed. "We were low on power and we needed to land somewhere to charge. Had I known you controlled this place-" 

"You wouldn't have landed here?" Wheeljack pushed away from the table and moved towards Magnus, a dark amusement radiating from his being. 

"You read my mind." 

"Wait, this guy is a god?" Miko asked, having just gotten over the shock of the reveal. 

"Ding! The human scores a point too! Man, you guys are on fire today!" Wheeljack laughed. "So, Shoulder Pads, I'm gonna make a request, and you're not going to deny it. We clear?" 

"...clear. What do you want?" 

"To play a little game." 

Miko scratched her head. "...game? With a god? Wouldn't it be rigged?" she deadpanned. 

"Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows for sure?” Wheeljack snickered. 

Ultra Magnus, deciding Wheeljack didn’t need to be talking to the youngest Wrecker, picked up Miko and put her in his chest cavity. "What is the objective?" 

Wheeljack's optics flashed. "Survive." 

"S-" Ultra Magnus held back a panicked swear, then nodded. "Survive. I can't say I'm surprised. How many trials, assuming that's how you're going to play?" 

"Hmmm...take a guess." 

Miko tapped Ultra Magnus's chest 7 times.

Bulkhead turned. "Miko, you can still hear us?" 

Miko tapped out YES in Morse Code. 

Ultra Magnus sighed. "What is the wager? I've heard the legends." 

"You win, I let you go, and fix your ship. You get home safe and sound. I win? You're mine, for all eternity." Wheeljack chuckled and tossed a small orb up before catching it. 

Ultra Magnus sighed, assessing the risks. There was no possible way to escape, not with a literal god in the ship with them. As stacked against them as the deck was, the game at least had a slim chance of escape. That in mind, Magnus nodded. "Alright, then." 

"Glad we're all on the same page!" Wheeljack snapped his fingers and their surroundings disappeared, replaced with a giant maze.

Bulkhead blinked. "Wh-" 

"He's a god," Miko reminded. 

Ultra Magnus nodded. "What rules?" 

"Eh, not many. At least one of you has to complete the trial for all of you to move on. You can't ask for help. I'm only giving 3 tips. Anything else I should add?" 

"With all due respect, Your Excellency, I'm not going to suggest any rules that will make the game any more difficult than it probably will be." 

"Smart choice. Now, chop, chop. You're on a timer!" With that, Wheeljack disappeared, laughing, and a timer with 3 hours appeared in his place. 

“Alright, you heard him,” Ultra Magnus said. “Let’s get to work.”


	2. Chapter 2

"Three hours and it hasn’t been that awful," Miko said offhandedly as the Wreckers walked. 

"Yes, but this is a god we're talking about," Magnus sighed. “A mad god who wants to keep us here forever. 

"And you think he's waiting for the right time to ruin this for us?"

"Definitely."

"Crap."

Magnus rubbed his optics. "Keep your guard up."

"Okay."

The three continued down their chosen path, and a bored Miko spun a pocketknife.

Magnus nearly had a spark attack. "MIKO!! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!"

"Uh..." Matching looks of guilt appeared on Bulkhead and Miko.

The Commander narrowed his optics. "Bulkhead...."

"She... needed something in case a Con picked her up?"

"YOU COULD NOT HAVE GIVEN HER PEPPER SPRAY!!?"

"A knife was less expensive."

"AND MORE UNSAFE!!!"

"She's really gotten the hang of it-" 

Laughter interrupted the conversation, and all three Wreckers jumped. "Well, well, well. Found ya. How are you three doing so far?"

Bulkhead sighed in relief, prompting a glare from Magnus.

Wheeljack snickered. "Trouble in paradise?"

Miko scooted closer to Bulkhead's helm, and Wheeljack shot her a smirk. "Relax, kid. I don't bite!"

"Aren't you an evil god, though?"

"Eh, depends on your point of view."

"...huh?"

"Some see me as evil, some friendly, some benevolent, some terrifying, and some, a nuisance. "

"What does it depend on?" Magnus asked. 

"Well, my mood, for one."

"Oh. Is this bad mood or good mood?"

"I'm in a little bit of a giddy mood."

"Why? Do you not get visitors often?" Bulkhead prodded dryly.

"HAH! You're hilarious!" Wheeljack nearly died laughing. "Visitors!? To the god of _madness_!?"

"...alright, fair."

Wheeljack chuckled, wiping a tear away. "Well, I'll give you kudos for making me laugh."

Ultra Magnus waved, and Bulkhead moved so he and Miko were behind the Commander. "If you are here, you are probably going to give us an obstacle."

"Yes. Well, maybe. Depends. At any rate, I think you three need to split up."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Miko shouted.

Wheeljack waved a hand, sending the three of them flying.

***

Bulkhead got up first. "Wha... where?"

Wheeljack laughed from behind him. "Somewhere. In the maze."

"Thanks for the clear answer," the behemoth grumbled.

"Yeah, yeah." Wheeljack waved a hand. "By the way, have fun with my pets. I'm sure they'll love to eat you!"

"...pets?" To answer his question, a quiet skittering noise made itself known.

"...oh no. Nonononononono-"

"Have fun!" Wheeljack's laugh echoed as he swirled into smoke, disappearing.

Bulkhead immediately had his blaster charged. "Nononononononono-"

A scraplet jumped up on a rock next to him, chirping inquisitively.

Bulkhead's optics widened. "AAAAAH!" he shrieked, immediately opening fire.

A swarm of scraplets surged out from behind the rock, jaws open and ready to feast.

Bulkhead immediately transformed and drove, not caring if he went through walls. The scraplets all followed him, chittering madly and snapping their jaws.

"WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY-"

Wheeljack laughed gleefully, watching from the end of the maze.

When Bulkhead got out of said maze, the laughing stopped. Not that the green mech noticed. He kept driving in circles to try and evade the scraplets.

Wheeljack waved the scraplets away, irritated. "How did you get through so fast?!"

"WHY WOULD YOU DO SCRAPLETS THOSE THINGS ARE VICIOUS KILLING MACHINES-"

Wheeljack just laughed. 

Bulkhead transformed and leaned against a wall, panting. "You lunatic!"

"Thank you. I take that as a compliment."

The timer buzzed, and Ultra Magnus, covered in slime, and Miko, wrapped in cloth, stumbled out of newly formed paths.

Wheeljack grumbled childishly. "Congrats. You've completed the trial."

"Why does Bulkhead look so scared?" Miko asked, running over to him.

"Scraplets," hissed the Wrecker. 

Ultra Magnus turned. "...scraplets?"

Bulkhead nodded, glaring at Wheeljack, who smirked. "Yeah. Thought I'd have a little fun with ol' Bulky."

"He's terrified of scraplets," Miko whined, going back to hug Bulkhead as much as possible.

"Exactly!" Wheeljack laughed.

"What's wrong with you?" Miko shouted as Bulkhead picked her up. 

"Everything!" the god cackled madly.

Magnus sighed, exasperated. "So are we going to the next trial right away or..."

Wheeljack shrugged. "I’m a generous guy, I'll give you a quick break."

The Wreckers found themselves in a peaceful white room- that looked a little like a padded cell. Miko decided not to comment and sat down for a nap.


	3. A/N: If I Could Draw - Cover

If I could draw the cover for this, it would be Ultra Magnus, Miko, and Bulkhead on the bottom looking around, scared. Given that they're in a game for their lives, they should look scared. 

Above them would be darkness with a bunch of eyes looking down on them, which is a lot of paranoia fuel and a reminder that they're up against something way above their weight. 

Above that, looking down at the Wreckers with an unhinged grin and holding up puppet strings? Wheeljack. A god. Playing with three mortals like they're his _toys_ and so powerful that they may as well be. 

If the Wreckers get out of this, it won't be any kind of easy. 


	4. Forest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check in this is used in the context that a god exists that keeps Wheeljack in check.

"You know, this booklet is kinda weird. It's missing some pages."

"Exactly! You gotta find them!"

Miko looked at him. "Let me guess. There's gonna be a page in every trial?"

"Frag, yes. Miss one and you’ll have plenty of time to read it during eternity," the god grinned.

"This one is... did you write it? It's creepy."

"Oh, uh, I did half of it."

"I assume you wrote the half that includes, ' _ They treat me like a child, and a child needs toys. _ '"

Wheeljack cringed. "Yeahhh, that was a while ago.” 

"That's literally horror, given that you're an ambiguously evil god."

He laughed nervously.

"What is the next trial?" Magnus asked, deciding that Miko was too close to Wheeljack for his liking.

"Hmmm. Well, let's see. I could have you run through a dark forest in the middle of the night.....maybe I could do the padded room...."

"Padded room?" Bulkhead asked.

"Hm. Maybe not."

"Are you just making this up as you go?" Miko asked dryly.

"Some of it." He grinned.

"Wonderful," Magnus sighed.

Wheeljack laughed. "I'll check my logbook of past games."

"Very well," Magnus replied, picking up Miko.

Wheeljack flipped through the book, humming, then grinned. "Here we go! Forest! Classic trial!"

"Dark forest where I have to find a page," Miko smirked. "May as well remove the face and grow tentacles."

"I can grant both your wishes." Wheeljack grinned, metal on his form starting to fall off and something that looked like a galaxy starting to show through. 

Ultra Magnus stepped forward, shielding his optics. "I believe our processors are supposed to be intact for us to play the game, Excellency."

Wheeljack paused mid-shift. "Fair enough."

"What are the rules?" the Commander asked. 

"Survive. No meeting up and helping each other. Get to the waypoint by dawn or you lose."

"...and just one of us has to get there?"

"Yeah. Just one."

"Alright," Magnus said. We're ready."

"Righty-o!" Wheeljack laughed, waving his hands to send them to a forest. "Have fun on your own!" 

5 hours later, Miko got up in an oasis. "Wh... cool!"

"Don't cheer yet."

Miko jumped. "Eeek!"

Wheeljack kneeled down, picking her up. "You're lucky you didn't end up with Bulk."

"Hey! Shouldn't I be able to walk around to get to the meeting point?"

"You'll get there. I feel sorry for you and your short little legs, sooo...." He put her on his shoulder. "Which way?"

Miko looked around for any possible indicators.

Wheeljack snickered. "Need help?"

"I don't feel like wasting a hint. We may need one later."

"Smart choice."

Miko looked around, noticed where the moon was, and pointed that direction. "There?"

"Sure thing." He strolled in the direction she indicated.

"So. How boring does it get around here that you wanted to play with 3 people below your weight class?"

"Depends. Sometimes the silence is nicer."

"And other times?"

"The screams are music to my audials." Miko flinched at that remark, and Wheeljack cackled. "Relax! I'm kidding! Mostly..."

"Mostly?"

Wheeljack turned to grin at Miko, optics flashing different colors. 

"Thanks for reminding me that you're a crazy god who wants to enslave me and my friends," sighed the teen. 

"My pleasure!"

Miko groaned. "What do you even want us for? You're a god!"

"I want the rest of the- oops."

"Rest of the...?" Miko winced, uncomfortable again. 

"The... family! I'm making a family." Wheeljack laughed.

"Why did you stop the first time?"

"It's a sensitive topic."

"Sensitive? But you're a god!"

Wheeljack nodded. "Yeah. So?"

"How do you have something sensitive?"

"Hey, gods have feelings too!"

"...fair. So. Any chance you'll tell me what's up with the ‘they treat me like a child’ thing?"

"Ah. That. I'm one of the youngest gods here, and I get treated accordingly. You get sick of trying not to live up to it after a couple millennia."

"One of the?"

"Huh?"

"There’s a younger god than you?"

"Absolute youngest is my check."

"You have a check?"

"I'm the unhinged god of madness. What do you think?"

"I see your point. Who is it?"

"I don't think I'm allowed to tell."

Miko grumbled, but conceded.

Wheeljack chuckled. "So, how'd you end up with Shoulder Pads?"

"Cons attacked the lab my parents worked at. They died and I was sent overseas. Fowler found me, brought me to the Autobots, and introduced us."

"Huh. Don't you ever miss them?"

"Who wouldn't?"

"Fair, fair. At least you knew them."

"You don't know your parents?"

"Nah. We think they skipped town before we started to actually function as living mechs."

"Yeah. It would be nice to meet them."

"Ouch. I-" Miko turned. In the distance to her right was... a tree? A glowing, pulsing tree made of some twisted amalgamation of flesh and energy. In the center was a... was that a Vehicon? Trussed up, blindfolded, gagged. The poor thing seemed to be squirming. 

"What the..."

"Oh. Forgot about him." Wheeljack strolled up to the tree. "Hey, buddy! Howya doin?" He rubbed the Vehicon's helm, chuckling.

The Vehicon seemed to relax at his touch. Lean into it, even.

Wheeljack cooed. "Aren't you just the cutest thing?"

Miko went from somewhat relaxed to extremely horrified within milliseconds, and her captor snickered. "You don't like him?"

"I'm playing a game for my freedom with you, and you did this to one of your prisoners. How am I supposed to feel?"

"He isn’t hurt. That tree? Made of bliss incarnate. He’s happy, almost too happy to be healthy for one of you mortals. Besides, he's kinda cute. Like a puppy!"

"You have him tangled up in that!"

"Well, yeah."

"And you think that's cute?!"

"Yeah, look!" He rubbed the Vehicon behind a finial.

The Vehicon purred. Actually purred. Miko shuddered. "That's sick."

Wheeljack scoffed. "It's adorable, especially when it's Magsy."

"...Magsy? As in, Ultra Magnus?"

Wheeljack froze. "Oops."

"Have you been visiting him before this? Petting him like a... like a-"

"If it helps, he was asleep. He didn’t even know I was there. None of the Wreckers did."

"What's wrong with you?!" Miko shouted, looking for a way off.

"Everything! I'm the god of madness, kid," came the scoffing reply. 

"That said, would you put me back down, please?"

"Relax, you’re fine."

"I just saw that and you expect me to trust you?!" Miko choked out in disbelief. 

"I'll letcha down. God's honor."

Miko raised an eyebrow, but nodded and climbed on.

Suddenly, a swirling energy manifested in front of the pair, showing a very sick looking Ultra Magnus stumble into the clearing where a poorly constructed finish line had been set up.

"S-so close... just a few more steps..." Magnus stumbled across the line, collapsing to the ground, and Wheeljack sighed. 

"Looks like you win again. I'm going to have a word with your Commander."

"Wait, what?"

The god ignored Miko, striding through the portal to Magnus.

Magnus was purging when he noticed Wheeljack. Optics widening, he snatched Miko and held her close. "Your Excellency," he managed, still upset.

"Relax, Magsy, you don’t have to be so formal. After all," the god smirked, "toys don't call their owners 'Master', do they?"

Ultra Magnus took a step back. "I... suppose not."

Wheeljack's grin darkened. "I think we’re one short..."

"I would have called him, but someone forbade that," Magnus deadpanned, letting Miko into his chest space.

The god rolled his optics. "You finished the trial. Call him."

Magnus did, and Bulkhead's voice came in, "A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW!!!!"

Wheeljack laughed. "Oh, right. The mechanimals."

"WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THESE?!" Bulkhead shrieked, and there was blaster fire.

"For funsies! I was bored!"

Bulkhead shouted a few swear words in response, and some clanging indicated that he was grappling with a mechanimal.

Wheeljack grinned at Magnus upon hearing this, as if to taunt him. "You're sick," the commander hissed. "If you do this and we are not yours yet, I shudder to imagine what you have planned for us if we lose."

" _ When _ you lose. And don't worry, I'll take good care of you," Wheeljack replied, chuckling. 

As if to lower confidence in Wheeljack's word, Bulkhead screamed again. "SCRAAAAAPLEEETS!"

"Ah. He found the nest."

"Why would you have scraplets here?! Wouldn't they eat the mechanimals?"

"Nah. I fed them earlier. And charmed the mechanimals."

Magnus shuddered and sat down. "Wait, I got here. Why is Bulkhead still doing this?"

Wheeljack laughed. "If I'm being honest? I just needed the show."

Bulkhead called Wheeljack something vulgar after something roared at him.

"Oooh. Snappy!"

Bulkhead snapped something else in Cybertronian so Miko wouldn't understand.

Wheeljack laughed opening up a portal for the irate Wrecker. "Mech, I don't think I've laughed so hard in my life!"

"What kind of sick freak laughs at someone almost getting eaten alive?!"

"Pft. You weren't going to be eaten."

"And I'm supposed to trust that?!"

"...yes?"

Bulkhead glared. "Why?"

"Swore on my honor."

Bulkhead scoffed, but didn't reply. Wheeljack laughed and clapped him on the back. "You won, so you get another night in a safehouse," he said, waving a hand to call up a futuristic dome. "Tomorrow, it'll be an easier trial. The kid should enjoy it." 

Miko cringed inside Ultra Magnus's chest as Wheeljack laughed and disappeared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a slight look into Wheeljack's motivations and a mortal in his "care." We're gonna see a few more of these mortals in the future. Also, note: this is an unhinged god's idea of kindness. If you didn't think the Wreckers were in trouble before...

**Author's Note:**

> Also found on Tumblr, where there will be bonus content: https://tfp-deity-au.tumblr.com/


End file.
